Posts tagged university

I am not outstanding.

I am “very good” and even, on extremely embarrassing occasions, “satisfactory.” 

Once, I was “excellent,” and it was the proudest day of my college career.

But I am never outstanding.

Most days, I don’t think I’m smart enough for my school.

I want to be, but I am not one of the perfect ones who get A’s in St. Olaf’s toughest science classes, have a million friends, go to bed at 10 every night, are involved in a sport and three other service organizations, and still find time for chapel every day. These are the outstanding students.

I am not.

I go to class each day, I do my homework, I study hard for exams, I am passionate about what I learn (most of the time), I have beautifully amazing friends, I keep the hours of an owl, I visit my family often, I’m chair of the College Democrats, I hold a post in the Rice County DFL, and I knit.

I am “very good” and, on bad days, “satisfactory.”

I am not outstanding.

What will it take for me to be outstanding? Can I ever be good enough?

I was pretty proud of the campaign season because each of the candidates I volunteered for during the election were re-elected, I successfully hosted the Governor as well as several other candidates on campus, and we turned St. Olaf out to vote in droves.

What incredible experience to list on a resume, but coupled with my “generally good” GPA, will anyone look beyond the number? It will be the black mark on an otherwise promising personality.

“Gee, she’s sweet but golly just look at those grades. Better hire the next one instead.”

And there goes everything I’m working for, everything I want to be. 

Lost out to someone who really is outstanding.

Maybe it will be me. Maybe just once.

But today, I am only “good,” and that’s not good enough for anything.

I’ve had a really tough time with stats this semester, which is really disheartening to me considering that I wanted to pursue a stats minor. I figured the professor was probably pretty tired of me after all the help I’ve needed and failing I’ve done, but after turning in one last thing just now, I got an email back saying:

The sexual assault awareness organization on our campus recently put up posters urging students to think before they use ‘rape’ as a casual slang word, as in: “That test just raped me!”

Last night I was sitting with the group of guys I’m friends with while they played video games and all of a sudden I hear, “DUDE! YOU JUST R- wait… we don’t say ‘raped’ anymore! Ummm…YOU JUST ROLLED ME!” 

They’ve decided of their own accord, with no prompting whatsoever from us girls, that they’re going to stop using “raped” as slang and find other words to use instead.

I couldn’t be more proud to call them my friends. Keepers for sure.

This year at college taught me more than I ever could have dreamt in my wildest of wild and crazy dreams. Want to see what I learned? Check out

A Year of Life Lessons 

or track the #ayearoflifelessons tag.

My friend Hilary and I are keeping track of all the little tidbits we need to remember from this year. Maybe some will be useful for you too, or maybe you can relate.

So take a look!

Now this is funny see, because when you have say, three nights left on a trip that seems like a lot. Some trips are only three nights long and they seem like forever. But I’ve only got three nights left here and it seems like an infinitesimal amount of time in which to complete the things I still want to do and spend time with the people I will miss. But at the same time, there are still three whole nights until my own room, my mom and dad, and my home friends, and that seems like too long. Time is such a funny thing.

I shall squish them! Grrrr!!!!

and then drop the kleenex onto the floor so it is far away!

NO MORE SPIDER!!! YEAHHH!

but then…I knock my alarm clock off my bed. 

Do I HAVE to go get it? Couldn’t I just…No, no I can’t. It’s already set…

I must retrieve it….he awaits, in the kleenex, on the floor. The sordid creature…

so many mads. so many tireds. so many sads. so many ughhs.

end rant.

goodnight.